Guy has a faithful
shoulder-perched raven, a kick-ass Gothic castle, hordes of hot young female
followers, and he drives the enormous kind of bulldozer used in mining
operations. His weapons of choice include the 9mm, the sawed-off shotgun, and
the hatchet.
Guy is the only
living person who can see zombies everywhere, controlling everything. Although
he's only sixteen-years-old, he's fantastically wealthy.
With a little help
from a centaur, Guy pirated trillions of dollars from various zombie
institutions. Fearing Guy might expose the cold lifeless grasp they have on all
aspects of human existence, the zombies made Guy's remarkable act of piracy
look like a monumental sub-prime mortgage crisis.
Obviously, only an
idiot would believe banks would lend money to people who could never pay it
back. Fortunately for the zombies, all of humankind, the zombie food-supply, is
kept in a sort of spell by supernatural creatures, who work in union with the
zombies, keeping people oblivious to all the zombies in their midst. It's these
poor brainwashed human beings that Guy tries to awaken from their stupor with a
series of online sermons at HowToEndHumanSuffering.com.
Guy takes on the
zombies and tries to end human suffering, mostly through encouraging the end of
human reproduction. Recognizing the enormity of that task, he sets himself a
smaller goal for the short term: overthrowing the principal of his high school,
whom he blames for its deplorable condition.
Distracting Guy
from his plans is a cute pink-haired girl named Baby Doll15 who has a unicorn
that follows her everywhere. Guy also meets a handsome teenaged
African-American ninja named Sweetie Honey who quickly becomes either his best
friend or his worst enemy.
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