Thursday, May 31, 2012

The Canadian Science Fiction Review reviews Eutopia

The Canadian Science Fiction Review talked about David Nickle's Eutopia, saying:
"Nickle does Lovecraftian horror better than Lovecraft ever did. The world of Eutopia is harsh, fecund, virulent and uncaring."
 
 
 

Black Gate reviews 'Westlake Soul'

Black Gate has posted a review of Westlake Soul, saying:
"The book succeeds in its creation of Westlake Soul, mature enough to have had a life, young enough to still be awed by things around him, traumatised enough that he has no fear of expressing that awe. There’s a lot of heart in Westlake Soul."
 
You can read it here and you can find Westlake Soul here.

Two Tom Piccirilli Interviews

Tom Piccirilli has recentlt been interviewed not once, but twice!
You check out Vince Keenan's Q&A with him here, and the other interview at Dead End Follies.

Don't forget to check out one of his books, Every Shallow Cut.

Page of Reviews interviews James Marshall

Page of Reviews has conducted an interview with James Marshall, author of Ninja Versus Pirate Featuring Zombies.


And check out Ninja Versus Pirate Featuring Zombies!

The Horror is Real: The Zombie Trend With James Marshall


When I wrote Ninja Versus Pirate Featuring Zombies, the zombie trend was just beginning. It's been exciting and encouraging to see how commonplace zombies have become in popular culture. While I'm gratified to see zombies have remained relevant, I was worried that, prior to the publication of NVPFZ, I'd see someone else handle the topic the same way I do. Fortunately, I haven't.

In NVPFZ, zombies are people who mindlessly accept the status quo. They're a danger because the status quo quite obviously leads to ruin. In the sequel, Zombie Versus Fairy Featuring Albinos, I delve even deeper into the zombie archetype. I don't want to give anything away, but I think it's a new and exciting take on the undead, and I can't wait for it to come out.

Zombies keep changing all the time. The movie 28 Days Later showed us that zombies can run. In the video game Half-Life 2, we learned that zombies can jump really far. In Ninja Versus Pirate Featuring Zombies, zombies can use guns.

One of the zombie's only weaknesses is its slowness and its inability to strike from a distance; in recent works, we can see that weakness addressed. I wanted to be a part of that: making the zombie even scarier.

I think what's really unique about Ninja Versus Pirate Featuring Zombies is that zombies are regular people who mindlessly accept the status quo. The horror is real and all around you right now! Find a safe place to hide and weep! That's what I do!

If you want to learn more, please visit www.howtoendhumansuffering.com or follow me on Twitter @james_marshall.

***


Tuesday, May 22, 2012

My Bookish Ways interviews Gemma Files



My Bookish Ways has conducted an interview with Gemma Files, author of The Hexslinger Series.

Check it out!

And check out her Hexslinger books A Book of Tongues, A Rope of Thorns, and A Tree of Bones!

The National Post reviews Westlake Soul

The National Post gave a favourable review of Westlake Soul, saying:
"Youers does a remarkable job keeping the book on an even keel... drawing a fine domestic portrait of a tight-knit family under pressure while asking compelling questions about the nature of consciousness... and what it means to be human."
 
 

Monday, May 21, 2012

Bearded Women shout out in Asimov's!

In a lengthy post about short story collections, Paul Di Filippo of Asimov's Science Fiction writes, "...the magnificent, bold and perspicacious Chizine Publications delivers a phenomenal collection with Teresa Milbrodt’s Bearded Women... The most outré beings and events are presented with matter-of-fact mimetic clarity and emotional empathy."

Read the article here!

Learn more about Bearded Women here!

In the Mean Time review by SFReader

SFReader has a review up of Paul Tremblay's collection In the Mean Time. It breaks down the book story by story, and the overall rating is 4/5 stars.

Read the review.

Order In the Mean Time.

Two fantastic reviews of Westlake Soul!

"This novel transcends genre. Youers’ lyrical prose transcends literary convention. Westlake himself transcends the page and lives in hearts of all who encounter him. Anyone who finishes this book and does not carry a bit of Westlake with them literally has no soul." - Shedrick Pittman-Hassett, Shroud Magazine

Click to read the review.

"This is a novel that will stay with you long after you've read its last words. It's a novel that will affect the way you see the world, a novel that will change you. Westlake Soul goes beyond labels, be they genre labels, descriptors, or praise. It is simply one of the best novels this reviewer has ever read, and he's read more than his fair share. Westlake Soul is a masterpiece." - Christopher Shearer, FEARnet

Click to read the review.  

Click to order a copy of Westlake Soul.

Podcast interview with Claude Lalumière





















Episode 120 of The SF Signal sits down with ChiZine's own Claude Lalumière, author of Objects of Worship and The Door to Lost Pages.


Listen to it here!

Learn more about Claude's books here and here!

Dead End Follies gives you three reasons to read ESC

Ben of Dead End Follies writes:
"THREE REASONS TO READ: EVERY SHALLOW CUT
1) It's a freakin' novella! ... It's short, not intimidating and it doesn't waste any words. It cuts down to the bare essentials of good storytelling.
2) It's a pure noir, but it has only one cop (for a few pages), one gun, no mobsters and very little violence....
3) It's a sad book. ... Sadness is a difficult emotion to trigger through page, but this is done amazingly well and should you embrace that you want to read something sad, this is the perfect book."

The Page of Reviews reviews Ninja Versus Pirate Featuring Zombies

The Page of Reviews talked about Ninja Versus Pirate Featuring Zombies, saying: "The novel’s satire runs so perfectly parallel to the zeitgeist of contemporary culture that it’s either the most flippant and offensive thing I’ve ever read, or the most concise allegory on post-industrial culture to ever to be constructed."

Read the Review!

Buy Ninja Versus Pirate Featuring Zombies!

Chasing Empty Pavements reviews Bearded Women

Chasing Empty Pavements liked Bearded Women, writing: "[Bearded Women] was beautifully written but it had this strange, lyrical feel to it. The thing I loved about this novel was that even though each of the short stories contained a “freak” per se, their emotions and feelings of being different were relatable, tangible and so very real."

Read the Review!

And/or Buy Bearded Women!

Monday, May 14, 2012

STL Todays reviews Ison

STL Today liked Ison of the Isles, writing: "Carolyn Ives Gilman can produce an exciting adventure tale that is both a thoughtful exploration of political and philosophical themes and an in-depth study of fascinating characters. Most authors do well to accomplish one of those things."

Read the review!

Buy Ison of the Isles, or its predecessor Isles of the Forsaken!

Mosaic - The Claude Lalumière Interview



Popular opinion says you can’t make money out of writing short fiction yet your entire output seems to revolve around this form. Why? And do you intend to move into novels at a later stage?

Hoping to make meaningful money from writing fiction is like hoping to win the lottery. It might happen, but don’t count on it. Mostly, I want this to be fun. I want to explore where my imagination takes me. And I can’t predict where that will be. I very much like the idea of “mosaics” — books composed of linked stories to form a larger story. It’s an underexplored form, mostly because it lacks an officially recognized name. But there are great books written that way that would not have been better served as novels or if their stories had simply been included in catch-all collection. Think of THE MARTIAN CHRONICLES or CITY OF SAINTS AND MADMEN or THE ATROCITY EXHIBITION or ORSINIAN TALES or THE WORLD INSIDE…

Read this and more insights from Claude Lalumière. 

Learn more about Claude's books, Objects of Worship and The Door to Lost Pages

Mike Carey guest spots!

Mike Carey has two guest articles up promoting The Steel Seraglio that you should check out.

On RedEye Chicago he talks about the three-wishes story structure:

"There are literally hundreds of variations on this story in the folk literatures of the world: it's often given a sexual dimension, but not always. It can be tragedy, cosmic meditation, horror or farce (farce definitely predominates), and it can be told with masses of circumstantial detail or kept plain and simple. But at its heart, it's a deeply conservative kind of story. The moral is: be grateful for what you've got now, and don't mess with it. Any change is likely to be for the worse, and if it's for the better, you'll probably screw it up anyway because you're an idiot."

And on The Mary Sue, Mike discusses female heroes in pop culture: 

"We prefer our heroines, just like our heroes, to be real people, not cardboard cut-outs – which, in the end, means that their gender isn’t going to be their determining trait.  It’s part of their identity, sure.  How could it not be?  But it doesn’t define them, any more than a score of other things define them.  It’s in the mix, that’s all, and it shouldn’t make a difference to how the reader responds to them."

Click here to learn more about The Steel Seraglio.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

"I'm Not Scared": An Interview With Sweetie Honey


Interviewer: Okay. Let's get started. I'm here today with Sweetie Honey, who's an infamous ninja. Sweetie, normally, ninjas go to great lengths to hide their identity. You, however, go around telling people you're a ninja and that you've got your ninja outfit in your backpack. Why?

Sweetie: Because I don't care. I'm not scared. If you've got a problem with me, just say so. I'll kill you. There's no problem.

Interviewer: What's the best part about being a ninja?

Sweetie: The killing. I mean, it pays well. It's a cash business, so there are no taxes. But if you're a child and you're considering different career paths, I'd say the high point of being a ninja is all the remorseless killing you get to do in a variety of really impressive ways. It's super empowering and a great stress reliever. Also, moving around very stealthily. It's always a fun challenge to effortlessly move through a rickety building without even disturbing a mote of dust.

Interviewer: What's the worst part?

Sweetie: The airports.

Interviewer: So there's a lot of travel?

Sweetie: It's pretty much constant. I'm always jetting off to kill a businessman in a luxury hotel somewhere. And they want me to be at the airport two hours before my flight? It's crazy.

Interviewer: You're African-American. Are there a lot of African-American ninjas?

Sweetie: Sadly, no. The ninja business has been pretty much a closed Japanese club until recently. But now we're trying to open it up to more ethnicities, sexual orientations, the transgendered, and the disabled. Hopefully, soon, all different kinds of people will be able to kill with impunity.

Interviewer: As a ninja, how do you feel about being best friends with Guy Boy Man, a pirate?

Sweetie: The rivalry between ninjas and pirates is mostly friendly. Guy, himself, will tell you that ninjas are far more bad-ass than pirates. But I have to confess that pirates have the edge when it comes to quality of life. I mean, Guy is always out on his pirate ship, in the sunshine, the cool clean air, and the salt water spray, surrounded by his hot young female followers, and I'm out on a ledge, twenty stories up, right outside a luxury hotel room, or I'm stuck in an airport somewhere.

Interviewer: We know Guy as a ruthless pirate and spiritual leader. Do you have any funny stories about him?

Sweetie: One time I had him convinced that wind isn't caused by temperature differentials; it's actually created by ninjas traveling.

Interviewer: That's pretty funny.

Sweetie: If we disturbed the air, it wouldn't dare let on.

Interviewer: Turning back to more serious matters now: What about zombies? Do you see zombies everywhere, controlling everything?

Sweetie: No.

Interviewer: Do you believe Guy does?

Sweetie: I take him at his word.

Interviewer: And you're comfortable being friends with someone whose perspective is as skewed as that?

Sweetie: I kill lots and lots of people for a living, and, sometimes, for fun. I do it unanticipated, unobserved, with brutal efficiency, and I leave absolutely no traces behind. That tends to wear you down after a while, so I like a guy who can make me laugh. And Guy is pretty funny.

Interviewer: You don't worry about what might happen if his religion catches on?

Sweetie: No. I never worry. About anything. There's no such thing as a nervous ninja. I mean, can you imagine? “That businessman has six heavily armed bodyguards! Oh no! What am I going to do? Wait. I'm a ninja. Oh yeah. I'll just kill them all. Then I'll kill the businessman. Then I guess I'll just go sit in the stupid airport and wait and wait and wait.”

Learn more about Sweetie Honey and his adventures with Guy Boy Man in NINA VERSUS PIRATE FEATURING ZOMBIES.


Saturday, May 12, 2012

Meet Ninja Extraordinaire Sweetie Honey


Sweetie Honey is a handsome teenaged African-American ninja. His weapons of choice include the sword, throwing star, and his bare hands, and feet. He enjoys moonless nights and killing bodyguards who wear white suits and stand around outside glass mansions carrying Uzis.

Using age-old ninja techniques, his father, who's also a ninja, trained Sweetie in the use of various fighting styles and weapons when he was still in the womb. After being born, Sweetie attended TNA, The Ninja Academy, and went to work at TNA, The Ninja Agency. (There's a lot of TNA, when you're a ninja.)

When he transfers to Scare City High, Sweetie hopes his male model good looks and his mastery of various weapons and fighting styles will help him fit in. Then he meets Guy Boy Man, and the two of them become fast friends.

When he meets Baby Doll15, Guy Boy Man's girlfriend, and tells her she's the most beautiful girl ever, things get a little weird. (Things were pretty weird before that, to be honest.)

Find out more about Sweetie Honey and his pursuit of Baby Doll15 in NINJA VERSUS PIRATE FEATURING ZOMBIES!


Friday, May 11, 2012

The Girl With The Unicorn: Interview with Baby Doll15


Interviewer: We're here today with Baby Doll15, the beautiful young girlfriend of spiritual leader and pirate, Guy Boy Man.

Baby Doll15: God. I wish I wasn't just someone's girlfriend.

Interviewer: I'm sorry. That wasn't a very good introduction. Baby Doll15 is here today with her unicorn and...

Baby Doll15: The girl with the unicorn. Yeah. That's much better.

Interviewer: Maybe I should just get started with the questions? Can we start with your outfit? You're wearing a baby-doll, thigh high leggings, and high heels. You're fifteen years old. Don't you think you're dressed a little too provocatively?

Baby Doll15: A little too provocatively for whom? For you? Definitely not for my boyfriend. You know, society nowadays is pretty uptight but it wasn't that long ago that fifteen year old girls who weren't already married with two kids were considered spinsters. I dress how I want to.

Interviewer: You're an individual. You resent being considered just someone's girlfriend.

Baby Doll15: That's right. I'm not just Guy's support system. I'm my own person. I have ideas, you know.  Plans. And just because I can't think of any of those ideas and plans right now doesn't mean I don't have them and that they aren't really great.

Interviewer: You've got that unicorn standing next to you.

Baby Doll15: Exactly! I've got a unicorn, damn it!

Interviewer: Did you summon it or...?

Baby Doll15: No. It just showed up one day.

Interviewer: Still. It seems to have taken a liking to you. I'm guessing that's a pretty big honor. You don't see unicorns every day.

Baby Doll15: Well, I do.

Interviewer: No, I know. Most people don't though.

Baby Doll15: You want to ask me about Guy. Go ahead and get it over with.

Interviewer: Do you see zombies everywhere, controlling everything, like he does?

Baby Doll15: No, of course not. There's no such thing as zombies.

Interviewer: So you believe he's lying or he's terribly mentally ill?

Baby Doll15: Does it have to be either or? Can't he just be unique?

Interviewer: Why would you want to be with someone who believes that it's all pointless and there's no hope for humankind?

Baby Doll15: Why do any of us love the people we do?

Interviewer: If Guy was right, though, and there are zombies everywhere, controlling everything, and he's going to be the one to convince living people to stop reproducing so the zombies starve to death and die again, then you might be the only hope to keep humankind alive.

Baby Doll15: What do you mean?

Interviewer: You might be able to convince him of the redemptive power of love and that the two of you should have a child together to manifest it.

Baby Doll15: I'm on the pill.

Interviewer: I think you missed my point.

Baby Doll15: No, I got your point. But by that logic, if Guy is right, and there are zombies everywhere, controlling everything, then he's probably also telling the truth that he pirated trillions of dollars from various zombie institutions, which has to make him believe I'm a huge gold digger. So how could he ever believe I love him for who he is and not what he has?

Interviewer: You'd have to convince him. For all of us.

Baby Doll15: But there aren't zombies everywhere, controlling everything.

Interviewer: No, of course not.

Baby Doll15: Although it kind of seems like there are sometimes.


Find out more about Baby Doll15 and her unicorn in NINJA VERSUS PIRATE FEATURING ZOMBIES.


Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Meet Baby Doll15


Baby Doll15 is just a regular fifteen-year-old girl with big breasts, pale blue lips, child-bearing hips, baby-powder-white skin, cotton-candy-pink hair, and a unicorn that follows her everywhere.

She's drawn to Guy Boy Man because he's such a bad boy. She's willing to suspend her disbelief in the bizarre way he views the world, and skip the Zombie Acceptance Test, to be with him, but she wants a commitment from him first. Little does she know that Guy made a deal with a centaur which prevents him from telling a girl he loves her; if he does, he'll lose his multitrillion dollar fortune.

Baby Doll15 doesn't believe in zombies the way Guy Boy Man does, which, you'd think, would put her in a great deal of danger because of, you know, all the zombies, but supernatural creatures hide the existence of zombies from young people, and protect them, until after the Zombie Acceptance Test, at which point young people either become zombies or zombie food.

Besides, Baby Doll15 has her unicorn to protect her. It also protects her from roving gangs of vegetarians who attack people eating hotdogs. It protects her from pretty much everything really. It's a pretty vicious unicorn, if you want to know the truth.

Find out how Baby Doll15 and Guy Boy Man fell in love in NINJA VERSUS PIRATE FEATURING ZOMBIES.


Tuesday, May 8, 2012

"This is my pirate hat!": Up Close and Personal with Teenage Trillionaire Guy Boy Man


Interviewer: I'm here today with a famous spiritual leader and pirate: Guy Boy Man. Guy, it's a pleasure to have you here today. Can you tell us what you've been up to lately?

Guy Boy Man: Why? Are you a cop?

Interviewer: No. I'm a reporter. I thought you understood that. I'm going to be asking you a series of questions.

Guy Boy Man: Obviously, you're a cop. Cops interview people all the time. The only reason you don't have a mustache is because you're undercover.

Interviewer: Okay. This is actually an excellent starting point. Some people say that you're not, as you claim, the only living person who can see zombies everywhere, controlling everything. You're actually a paranoid schizophrenic with a horrifying stockpile of weapons you use to kill scores of innocent people whom you merely argue are zombies.

Guy Boy Man: Obviously, there are skeptics. Every religion has them.

Interviewer: Does every religion leave behind so many dead bodies in its wake?

Guy Boy Man: Yes. Study your history. “Those that fail to learn from history are doomed to repeat it.” Sadly, those who learn from history are also doomed to repeat it. That's why everybody should stop reproducing.

Interviewer: I'm curious, Mr. Man. Do you think I'm a zombie?

Guy Boy Man: No. Aside from the mindless human-flesh-eating deal, zombies are “good” and “moral” and “responsible.” People pretending to be journalists are none of those things.

Interviewer: So good people are bad?

Guy Boy Man: Yes. They'll certainly never be good enough. We're doomed. War, hunger, disease, greed. These things will never change as long as there are people. That's why everybody should stop reproducing.

Interviewer: Your stance on birth control is why you're so at odds with the Pope?

Guy Boy Man: I'm not at odds with the Pope. I don't know what you're talking about.

Interviewer: You, rather famously, stole the Pope's hat.

Guy Boy Man: No, I didn't. And it probably doesn't hold magic powers of infallibility.

Interviewer: You're wearing the Pope's hat right now. It's that tall gold-and-white thing right on top of your head.

Guy Boy Man: This is my pirate hat! If the Pope had a hat like this and he lost it then that's his problem! He should have taken better care of it!

Interviewer: Some say you were even responsible for the recent theft of a preserved 900-year-old saint's heart from a cathedral in Dublin, Ireland. What on Earth would you want with something like that?

Guy Boy Man: Well, I'm not cloning a saintly army to wage war on the Pope and his minions, if that's what you're thinking! That would be crazy!

Interviewer: Yes. Quite. Let's put that aside for the moment. Why should people join your religion and follow you instead of, say, the Pope?

Guy Boy Man: Every other major organized religion holds as it main tenet, everything will be great when we're dead. Why does everybody have to die first? My religion is all about having a good time while we're alive! Like the leaders of all major religions, first I'm going to lead my followers into Despair. “Everything is terrible.” “Life is suffering.” Blah blah blah. Before we get to Despair, we're probably going to have to make some stops in Unhappiness and Fear, but when we get deep in the heart of downtown Despair, we're going to have a big old party with great music, dancing girls, and drinks!

Interviewer: What your ideal world look like? Would it be like this party?

Guy Boy Man: No. I'm a conservative. Like all good conservatives, I dream of living in an environmental wasteland in which we all battle each other for survival until only one of us remains.

Interviewer: You're also a Christian, aren't you?

Guy Boy Man: Very much so. I mean, when you find a watch on the beach, obviously there's a God.

Interviewer: My point is that, for a Christian, your ideal world, in which we all battle each other for survival until only one of us remains, sounds awfully Darwinian.

At this point, Guy Boy Man may or may not have pulled out two 9mm handguns and shot the interviewer several times in head and chest, ending the interview, and the interviewer, for that matter.

Monday, May 7, 2012

Booklist review of Westlake Soul

"With thematic similarities to Dalton Trumbo’s Johnny Got His Gun, this imaginative mix of fantasy and reality combines highly dramatic subject matter with a narrative touch that is surprisingly light and funny. The ending, though, is haunting and more than a little emotionally charged. A daring and completely successful book." — David Pitt

This review is print only, but you can learn more about Westlake Soul here. 

A slew of Steel Seraglio praise!

SFRevu writes: "The Steel Seraglio is a masterful, engaging and utterly fascinating story by three wonderful writers. One can only hope they will collaborate again, as this project has proven how well they work together. The reader is really the winner here." 

The King of Elfland's Second Cousin gave the book 4/5 stars, saying: "The Steel Seraglio is a wonderful, resonant book and I would love to see more such novels from its authors, illustrator, and publisher."

And Slant magazine raves: "With remarkable elegance, the Careys have enriched meta-fictional allegory into furious pop entertainment—full of sex, passion, violence, and magic. The Steel Seraglio is razor-sharp, cutting straight through the bullshit of bigotry to tell a fun, resonant story."

Interview with John Mantooth (with CZ shoutout)

"ChiZine Publications is awesome, how has it been working with them?

I was so excited when Sandra informed me they were going to buy Shoebox Train Wreck. I actually submitted it to them not expecting much. I’d been collecting rejections from Chizine for years, but I figured it wouldn’t hurt to try it one more time, so I sent it. They accepted it about a year later. Working with them has been great from acceptance all the way to where I am now—about a month from publication. Brett and Sandra are extremely author friendly. They’re approachable, knowledgeable, and very supportive. They’ve got great folks working for them too (Helen Marshall, Erik Mohr, Samantha Belko, etc.), and their books speak for themselves."
 
 

Bearded Women "phenomenal"

Matt Baker of Oxford American calls Teresa Milbrodt's Bearded Women "phenomenal", adding that it "firmly establish[es] Milbrodt as a premier writer, and maybe the founder, of Midwestern mythic."


Read the review here!


Buy Bearded Women here!

Another great review of Every Shallow Cut

"This book was the first book in quite some time that I didn’t skim the pages to get to the end to see how it ended. It had such a perfect pacing balance that kept me engaged enough to want to keep reading yet wasn’t so bombastic that I had such a desire to get to the end that I was willing to sacrifice the buildup. Well done, Mr. Piccirilli."
- Bryon Quertermous 

Click to read the review.

Click to learn more about Every Shallow Cut.

Mythopoeic Society dissects The Choir Boats

An interesting review for those inclined toward literary analysis. Sue Bridgwater of The Mythopoeic Society looks at the use of language and intertextuality in Daniel Rabuzzi's The Choir Boats. Read it if you want to see a new angle on his fantastical world.

Read the analysis.

Order The Choir Boats.

You can now pre-order a signed, limited edition of The Indigo Pheasant, Volume 2 of Longing for Yount.

MEET GUY BOY MAN

Guy Boy Man is a sixteen-year-old spiritual leader and pirate. That's kind of redundant because all spiritual leaders are pirates but whatever. To announce his audacious arrival on the pirate scene, Guy had the Pope's pirate hat pirated, the tall gold and white one, and Guy always wears it proudly, along with a shiny white high-tech plastic robe over breeches and a loose-fitting white linen shirt.


Guy has a faithful shoulder-perched raven, a kick-ass Gothic castle, hordes of hot young female followers, and he drives the enormous kind of bulldozer used in mining operations. His weapons of choice include the 9mm, the sawed-off shotgun, and the hatchet.
           
Guy is the only living person who can see zombies everywhere, controlling everything. Although he's only sixteen-years-old, he's fantastically wealthy.
            
With a little help from a centaur, Guy pirated trillions of dollars from various zombie institutions. Fearing Guy might expose the cold lifeless grasp they have on all aspects of human existence, the zombies made Guy's remarkable act of piracy look like a monumental sub-prime mortgage crisis.
           
Obviously, only an idiot would believe banks would lend money to people who could never pay it back. Fortunately for the zombies, all of humankind, the zombie food-supply, is kept in a sort of spell by supernatural creatures, who work in union with the zombies, keeping people oblivious to all the zombies in their midst. It's these poor brainwashed human beings that Guy tries to awaken from their stupor with a series of online sermons at HowToEndHumanSuffering.com.
            
Guy takes on the zombies and tries to end human suffering, mostly through encouraging the end of human reproduction. Recognizing the enormity of that task, he sets himself a smaller goal for the short term: overthrowing the principal of his high school, whom he blames for its deplorable condition.
            
Distracting Guy from his plans is a cute pink-haired girl named Baby Doll15 who has a unicorn that follows her everywhere. Guy also meets a handsome teenaged African-American ninja named Sweetie Honey who quickly becomes either his best friend or his worst enemy.

Find out the rest of Guy Boy Man's story in NINJA VERSUS PIRATE FEATURING ZOMBIES!